Morning Meditations

(11/9)
Some days the words hit me harder than others: strength, courage, resentment, forgiveness, acceptance, patience…It is good that I can at least depend on their firmness. They are always there built like Egyptian temples, blocks of indestructible ink. They are universally used: prayer mediations, yoga practices, Native American fold tales, religious traditions from all over the world depend on them. They help us connect each in our own way to the source of life. They help remind me to live in the present, to not miss a moment because it is the gift of life, these moments that we have been given. I move in and out of this energy. Sometimes I feel like I’m reading an old treasure map that is torn and faded. I can barely make out the symbols or the direction I should be going. I want to understand it so badly: I study it, re-read it over and over, ask people for help. I get frustrated. Then a little bird tells me ‘You only realize where you are on the map when you begin your journey. Once you begin, your destiny will make itself available to you. You can only read the map when you're on it.’ Mollie and I are here in Africa because we chose to start our journey. We have to stay focused because there are plenty of chances to misread the map. We are headed towards our nearest marker: an idea that is Global Ties. We feel that there is something very tangible within the idea. Now we must discover what that is. How? Don’t look past anything! The markers are there for a reason. This sort of thing takes courage. Following your destiny is no easy game, but it’s a very exciting one. We are grateful for the support.

(11/13)
Good morning. I’ve been reading the meditations regularly, but I haven’t felt very inspired to write. The meditations are so full and vivid. They leave me nearly thoughtless. They are the complete opposite of numbing, vast, and so I end up lost and delighted that I can recognize the spaciousness. I just am. Words aren’t important. They couldn’t be because everything is totally present. Attaching a word to something, defining it, can mean you’ve spent too long with that something. It’s hard to let things completely go, but we can do it mainly because it feels so good. Here in Africa and perhaps anywhere I am, my emotions towards life change like traffic lights. One minute I’m at peace with how different and uncomfortable I feel. I’m even a bit proud that I have successfully made it this far: I can get around, I understand a few words, I’ve made friends, I’ve toughened up to being the only whitey on the block. The next minute my head is spinning because I’ve been waiting 45 minutes for the bus, people are starring at me, I can’t understand anybody, and I feel like I’m getting cheated at every turn. Either way I have it, I’m staying too long with my words, my judgments. Traveling, living abroad, is a practice dedicated to letting go and letting in all the strange, wonderful, difficult, exciting, and completely out of your control experiences that make up life.