I just kind of stopped blogging. Sorry. It was way to easy to just stop. When you get home from an adventure like going to Uganda, it is easy to think that your writing is over, and it certainly could be, but I kind of want to keep writing. I'm curious where it might lead. Plus, I'm not finished.
Our time in Uganda is still shaping the decisions we are making for our future. We have been asked on a few occasions, "Now what?" Well...
I don't know! What do you do after a trip like the one we just shared? Where do you go from there? The big question that I keep asking myself, and have been asking since maybe forever, is the very practical and seemingly endless, "What do I want to do with my life?" Well for me this is like arm wrestling with the Hulk over and over again. Slam, Slam, Slam. This question is entirely too broad, too big. It's perfectly fine to ask. I need to ask because sometimes I need to hear myself think, but I have to remember that it is highly unlikely that I'm going to think my way to the answer.
So instead, why not ask, "What do I want to do today?" Does that change things? Yes. I read the other day in a cool little devotional handbook, "The most important thing to determine is what to do right now." The wise ones say live in the reality that you want to live in because that is where reality comes from...within. When I ask myself what I should do with my life, I'm guessing, creating a reality that doesn't exist. It's stressful.
I love when I work myself up. I do it so easily. "What should I do" runs through my head like mice in a cage and the fear wells up in my eyes. I can't be anywhere. I feel over caffeinated but blank...crazy. I'm obviously stressed. Anybody can see it. It doesn't last too long. Sometimes minutes, sometimes a day or two. And then I let go. Something shifts inside and I readjust my thinking, or maybe it's just that I stop all the thinking. What do I want to do today? I can get there.
So I went down the street to a place I had thought about going to for days and simply asked if they would like any help. They said of course so now I'm volunteering at Hope for Haiti. I'm calling it interning. I don't have to feel like I'm waiting for the next thing. Every step counts.
Luckily since I've been back, I've been able to snatch up a few gigs working for my old employer, You've Got It Coming, a catering outfit for Naples' well-to-do. The job paints an interesting reality for me. On one side you have multimillion dollar mansions, fancy cars, and face lifts and on the other side you have malaria. Just to run the point home, here are a few pictures juxtaposing what two very different worlds look like.
Back Patio.
Front Patio?
A house.
A house.
A kitchen.
A kitchen
A living room.
A living room.
The world is certainly a crazy place. Having the chance for a birds eye view into these very different scenarios has been an immensely humbling experience.
